StandingTallNZ.org
2 min read
Bros E-Learning Platform
Kia ora, I’m Vinnie, the Kaitiaki (guardian) of this page. Whether you’re visiting for the first time or coming back, I’m here to help.
Purpose of this platform
This webpage is dedicated to Māori and Pacific men who have experienced childhood sexual abuse. We understand that sharing your story and seeking help can be challenging, but you are not alone. This space is for you to learn new skills, get support, resources, and be in a community that understands and stands by you.
Learning outcomes
The aim of this webpage is to help you:
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Understand the impact of childhood sexual violence.
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Recognise trauma, silence, and shame and find a way forward.
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Learn about our framework Te Ao Marama: A guide to work through historical violence and trauma, mental health, addictions and sucide prevention.
Understanding the Impact of Childhood Sexual Abuse
What happened to you is not your fault. Yes, it happened, but it does not define you. We’re here to support you as you take steps towards healing. Start the process by accessing completing the first Module.
Learning to come forward and get support
Module 1: Te Kore (The Void)
Experiencing sexual violence, family harm, and other challenges can affect how we see the world and understand the spaces we’re in. This can leave us feeling in chaos, which is called "Te Kore." The goal of this module is to help you move from that state of chaos (Te Kore) into a place of possibility – Te Korekore.
Activity: Watch a video – Start this journey out of Te Kore by watching a video that shares Māori and Pacific men's perspectives on coming forward. If you feel triggered at any point, please reach out to us so we can support you. Then take a break, get in a walk or exercise for ten minutes to get your head in the space for the next module.
You’re in control of your next step. Access support here.
Māori
Pacific
Module 2: Te Korekore (The Realm of Potential)
Watch a video Pain To Power: Sexual Abuse Recovery w/ Dr. Alexander Stevens II or
Listen to the Podcast via Spotify.
Activity: Reflect on what the men went through in the previous videos in Te Kore, what they experienced, and what you heard from Dr. Stevens II. Make a list of your own strengths or positive qualities that will help you get through this time. The goal is to help you recognize your own resilience.
This activity is designed to help you see yourself as strong and capable, even if you're just starting your healing journey.
Extra Activity: Go to our page about what other bros think and feel about this topic.
You’re in control of your next step. Access support here.
Module 3: Taiao (The Environment)
Watch a video The psychology of post-traumatic stress disorder
Activity: Many bros (not all) have PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) which can make you feel constantly on edge, like your mind and body are stuck in survival mode. You might find yourself anxious, tense, or triggered by everyday things, making it hard to relax or feel safe.
One way to help calm this is by connecting with taiao, the natural environment around you. Being outside in nature can help your nervous system settle, ease stress, and bring a sense of peace to your wairua (spirit). The fresh air, trees, and open spaces remind us we’re part of something bigger and help restore our strength.
Take a moment to watch this video that explains PTSD and then spend time outdoors which can support healing from PTSD. Even a short walk or just sitting in nature can make a difference. Give yourself permission to get outside today, your mind and body will thank you.
You’re in control of your next step. Access support here.
Module 4: Maramatanga (Understanding)
Watch a video What causes addiction, and why is it so hard to treat?
Activity:
For tāne and tāne whaiora (men in recovery) who have survived sexual violence, gaining maramatanga is a powerful step toward healing.
Addictions often develop as a way to cope with the deep pain and trauma caused by abuse. They can numb the hurt, silence difficult memories, or help manage overwhelming emotions. But while addiction might provide temporary relief, it can also trap people in cycles that make healing harder.
Maramatanga invites you to look beneath the surface, to understand why addictions developed and how they connect to your experiences of trauma. It’s about shining a light on those hidden parts of your story, without blame or shame.
When you gain this insight, you start to see the patterns and triggers that keep you stuck. You begin to recognise your strengths, resilience, and the wairua (spirit) inside you that wants to heal. Maramatanga also opens the door to new ways of living, grounded in self-awareness, cultural identity, and connection to whānau and whenua (land). It’s a journey of reclaiming your mana and stepping into your own power beyond trauma and addiction.
You’re in control of your next step. Access support here.
Module 5: Hapouri (Community)
Watch a video
Finding a way forward doesn’t mean doing it alone. Hapori is about connection, the people around you, your whānau, your mates, and those who can support you in ways that feel right for you. After what you’ve been through, it can be hard to trust others or know who is safe. This part of the journey is about recognising that support exists, and that you get to choose who is part of your circle.
Activity: Build your support circle
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Take a moment to think about the people in your life. These could be friends, whānau, or others you’ve come across.
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Identify who feels safe to talk to.
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Decide who you trust, who you’re unsure about, and who doesn’t feel safe.
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Think about what makes someone feel safe or unsafe for you.
Then choose one person or service you could reach out to, when and if you feel ready. You are not alone in this. Take your time and remember, you are in control of what you do next.
Access support here.
Module: Hinengaro (Mental and Emotional Wellbeing)
Listen to a podcast.
What you’ve been through can have a real impact on how you think and feel. You might experience things like anger, shame, confusion, or feel nothing at all. These responses are not a weakness. They are normal reactions to what has happened. Hinengaro is about understanding what’s going on inside you and making sense of your thoughts and feelings.
Activity: Understand what’s going on inside
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Take some time to check in with yourself and what you’ve been experiencing.
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Identify the emotions that feel familiar to you
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Recognise that these feelings are valid responses to what you’ve been through
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Notice any thoughts you’ve had about yourself, including self-blame or doubt
As you go through this activity, you will be shown common thoughts and feelings that many bros experience, including suicidal thoughts. Take a moment to reflect on which ones connect with you.
Remember, what happened to you is not your fault. Access support here.
Module: Tinana (Physical Wellbeing)
Listen to a podcast.
What you’ve been through doesn’t just stay in your head, it can live in your body too. You might notice tension, restlessness, feeling on edge, or completely shut down. Tinana is about reconnecting with your body and finding ways to feel safe, steady, and in control again. Moving forward doesn’t have to be big steps. Small actions can make a real difference.
Activity: Take a step forward
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Take some time to think about what helps your body feel calm or in control.
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Identify activities that help you feel more settled, such as movement, breathing, being outside, or listening to music.
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Recognise how your body responds to stress or reminders of what happened.
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Choose one small action you are willing to try.
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After completing this activity, take a few minutes to try the strategy you selected. Even a short amount of time can help you begin to feel more grounded.
You’re in control of your next step. Access support here.
Module: Wairua and Wā (Spiritual Wellbeing and Time)
What happened to you is part of your story, but it is not all of who you are. Wairua is about your sense of self, your values, your identity, and what gives your life meaning. Wā is about time, recognising that healing doesn’t happen all at once. There is no set timeline. Moving forward happens in your own time, in your own way.
This part of the journey is about reconnecting with who you are and thinking about where you want to go from here.
Activity: Looking forward in your own time
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Take some time to reflect on yourself beyond what has happened.
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Identify strengths or qualities you have as a person.
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Recognise that what happened does not define you.
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Think about what healing or moving forward could look like for you.
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As you complete this activity, choose one thing you want to focus on moving forward. This could be understanding yourself more, building connections, or taking care of your wellbeing.
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There is no rush. Your journey happens in your own time.
Our final session in this e-learning platform is Rongoā which offers a holistic way of healing by drawing on traditional Māori practices, connecting the body, mind, and wairua through natural remedies, cultural knowledge, and a return to balance.
You’re in control of your next step. Access support here.